I don’t own any of these characters or storylines , all of them belongs to Sümeyye Koç , the author of Hercai novel , and the publishers of the book , this is just a translation from Turkish to English .
*Please Don’t use the translation without permission .
Chapter one : Poison
Miserable , Both of her hands are tied , a malicious enemy is putting along her way …
It was a strong poison , dripping in her soul without mercy , draining her strength everyday more and more until she would lose all hope …. Despite all the struggles she had gone through , her hopes were always blue , until this day , Now , all of them are black , her future dreams are destroyed , as fighting stormy wind , the end of this road is closed ….
This smashed life she is carrying , today , became the possession of a young man ….
Reyyan while sitting in the dark which always leaves it’s place in the morning , heard the light sound of the door
“ Reyyan ? “ asked Havin , Without answering her , Reyyan looked at the ground and said “ I don’t want to, Havin “ , today without asking her or taking her opinion exactly as she has been given her name , they took the decision , and now Reyyan was burning from it , she screamed loudly “ I don’t want to “ , her cousin trying to calm her , grabbed her arms and looked at her fondly “ Please don’t scream , anyone could hear you “ , “ haven’t we reach this state by our silence , Havin ? “ she looked at her cousin while dying from the pain “ I don’t want to marry a man I don’t know and become his wife , I will be miserable Havin , I can feel it “ …. She felt like she is drowning in an ocean , worthless and deficient . Above everything when she refuses to marry him , everyone tells her that love will come with time , she is losing her mind ….. “ Why then ? “ asked Havin “ When you met him for the first time , I saw in your eyes a depth ,at that moment I thought all your stubbornness broke “ ,” that’s not the deal “ She couldn’t explain her problem to anyone , she felt crazy , “ the deal is that I don’t know this man , what type of people he belongs to , how is his heart , tell me , If this isn’t like walking toward abyss closed-eyes , tell me what is it ? “, “ You don’t want to know him too “ said Havin , “ It all means that he saw you and loved you , then why he would bring his family from Istanbul to ask for you hand ? , and I think that you like him too “ …
While Havin was waiting for her answer , Reyyan Furrowing her eyebrows angrily , got up from her bed and walked toward the window , the sun was shining , leaving the red colour all over the sky , “ Days ago … “ mumbled Reyyan While pointing toward the street “ I saw him there exactly , he was staring at me , then after some days … “ every time she remembers that moment , her heartbeats become uncontrollable , as if her heart is going to get out from her chest “ he came to this mansion with his family , asking for my hand “
Havin is still can’t understand the problem “ then where is the issue ? , Aren’t you going to marry someday ? Why all of this stubbornness ? Tell me , Are you going to find someone better ? “
“ That’s the problem Havin , That’s exactly the problem , he is a person who has standards , no woman can tell him no , Young , Handsome , Rich , then what about ……” Turning while furrowing her eyebrows in puzzlement “ Me ? Why Me ?” , Havin rolling her eyes “ What do you want more , seriously I don’t get you ? “ , “ I don’t understand too “ Said Reyyan , Putting her arms around her chest , she looked outside the window “ someone like him , Why would he want me ? I can’t understand “
For Havin , everything is pink , she is 17 years old , still young , even if Reyyan wanted , she can’t explain everything to Havin , “ Why are you belittling yourself ? “ asked Havin , The small girl extend her hands toward Reyyan and touched her face “ Isn’t it Possible that this man was hit by your beauty ? “ again without answering ,asked Reyyan “ While there are a lot of beautiful women out there , why me ? “ This time “ Are you stupid girl ? said Havin rudely “ A love story like fairy tales that will make anyone jealous has come to you , thousands of girls if they were at your place , they would marry him without a question but here you are saying that you are going to be miserable , refusing him and making a fuss ? “ …
Reyyan felt really irritated from Havin , she doesn’t understand her too and when she gets angry , she always lose it “ Shut-up Havin “ screamed Reyyan unconsciously , everything because of her father “ you know Havin ? “ asked Reyyan “ If I were his biological daughter , he wouldn’t have sent me from this house like a piece of clothing “ cried Reyyan “ father hasn’t loved ever , his only goal is marrying me and getting me out of this house , see , he is doing what he always wanted “
Havin stood-up without any trace of the fondness that was before “ Don’t wrong my uncle , Reyyan , he has always been treating you like his real daughter , all those years , my uncle was the only one that gave you fatherhood , Like his eyes he was ….. “
Reyyan’s anger has reached the highest level , She stopped Havin in the middle of her talk “ I didn’t see any compassion in his eyes , Havin “ she looked at Havin with empty eyes “ How are you going to know ? you weren’t the stepdaughter , you weren’t the one who was treated like a pet and you weren’t the one who saw a father’s ignorance of his little girl injuries , Has he ever stroked my hair ? or hugged me as your father do ? I grew up without a father’s love , Havin , that man hates me “
Havin was shocked , she didn’t know that inside Reyyan was all that pain and hatred , maybe because of her anger , she was talking all this .
“ you are silly Reyyan , you don’t know what you are saying because of your anger , no one has treated you like a stepdaughter , did I ever make you feel like you’re not my cousin ? did I ? neither mom , dad , brother or uncle , Did they ever say a bad word for you ? “
Reyyan didn’t want to hear all that talk from Havin , she was trying to calm her but was increasing her anger , to avoid all that , she walked to the door quickly and pointed toward Havin “ Leave me alone , get out of my room “ , “ alright “ said Havin and walked to the door , if she stayed any more time , Reyyan would break her heart more , Havin walked to her room and Reyyan was closing her door when she saw Azad , Havin’s brother , the oldest son of this house , when their eyes met , he continue climbing up the stairs , Reyyan closed her door and walked to her bed , no one is listening or understanding her , she doesn’t have any grudge towards her father , her deal was with her mother , regardless of what could have happened , she could have stood against this marriage , but she didn’t .
Just for one second , she wanted to free her mind of these thoughts , to stop thinking for one second , until this time , her father was treating her in a good way , in the eyes of all , that’s how the father is , he did all of his duties , but in Reyyan’s eyes , he didn’t , he didn’t stroke her hair or look at her with compassion , not even once . His love for her brother Bedrihan was obvious but for Reyyan, he was trying to get rid of her by marrying her off . she reached her bed and put her head on her pillow , her heart was heavy , if she would cry , she will feel better , but Reyyan isn’t a girl who cries easily .
After some time , the door was opened again , she saw a glimpse of her mother at the door , her mother is upset , she looked at Reyyan with a fake smile , sat down beside her on the bed and touched her cheek , “ Reyyan ….. My beautiful girl “ , she knew , her mother came to convince her , but she hoped that she was wrong , “ My beautiful daughter don’t do this , marriage isn’t a bad thing “ , removing her mother’s hand , she looked at her eyes “ I didn’t say marriage is bad , but who would want to marry a man whom he doesn’t know his name or age ? I don’t know him “ , Zehra Hanim smiled and watching her mother smiling was enough to make Reyyan angry again , “ anyone who hears you would think you are going to marry Today , Reyyan , Miran just came with his family to ask for your hand “ , Reyyan Shrugged her shoulders , she doesn’t care about all that .
But her mother wasn’t going to give up “ look at me Reyyan “ , Reyyan gazed at her mother’s eyes , she continued her talk while smiling “ Am I going to give my only daughter to a bad man ? your father knows Miran and loved him a lot my beauty , he is a respected and trusted man , he is 26 years old , very young , and above all that , he is very handsome and strong , what would any girl wants more ? “ Reyyan opened her mouth from shock and astonishment “ what would she want ?” asked Reyyan angrily , “ Love or maybe to spend her life with a man she knows …. Not like me , with a man she doesn’t know at all , who fall for me from the sky “ she looked away from her mother , no matter what , she wouldn’t look at her face with anger , “Didn’t you like Miran , My beautiful daughter ?” asked a surprised Zehra , there wasn’t anything about Miran that you couldn’t like . “ on the contrary“ said Reyyan “ he is not a person that anyone couldn’t like , this situation is just weird for me , Hasn’t he found any other girl to marry ? Why did he choose me ?” , “ You are beautiful dear , what is weird is your reaction “ Reyyan doesn’t want all this talk to convince her , she looked into the void “ .
For everyone , her thoughts are delusion , Zehra took her daughter’s face between her palms , Reyyan was obligated to look at her mother’s eyes “ If you are still refusing this , I won’t care about your father or Miran “ she looked seriously “ I promise you , without hesitation , I will end this issue, you let this beautiful face smile for me , that’s enough.” “ I’m afraid mother , very afraid , until this day , I’ve never been happy , you know that really well , and surprisingly , a man like him wants to marry me , I have to look in his intentions , what else should I do ? “ Zehra Hanim smiled sadly , she knew her daughter grew up without love . She was a widow and pregnant When she Came to this mansion years ago , When her daughter started to grow up she told her the truth , she refused to let her live in a big lie , “ Love- marriage means tasting heaven in this life and Marriage without love is like living in hell , what mother who throws her daughter in hell ?” , Reyyan’s eyes smiled while looking at her mother , she gave her hope , “ what do you mean ? “ asked Reyyan enthusiastically , “ I gave birth to you Reyyan , No one has the right to decide instead of , If your father was alive he would never give to someone you didn’t want , the meaning Reyyan , If you want this marriage it will happen and If you don’t accept , It won’t “ , she couldn’t prevent herself from hugging her , that’s the mother she always know , she won’t give her daughter to a man she doesn’t want .
At the evening , medyat’s sky was covered with stars , all the preparations were made at the Sanoglu
Mansion , everyone was waiting for their guests , Havin started to repair Reyyan’s hair while she was playing with her dress skirt , that ends down her knees , she was ready actually , but just to spend time with Havin , she was here , when they heard sounds at the door , Havin threw the comp on the bed , ran to the window and told Reyyan excitedly “ they are here ! “ but Reyyan hasn’t let go of her stubbornness yet , she asked without anycare “ did you see who came ?” , “ Who else would come ? Madam Nergis and Gonul “ Nergis Hanim is Miran’s mother and Gonul his sister , Miran’s father died when he was little .
Reyyan put her hand on her chest , she was having difficulty in breathing , not from excitement nor curiosity , she was afraid of showing herself in front of Miran , she pushed her black hair behind her ears , stood-up and started passing left and right , “ calm down Reyyan , you aren’t going to the gallows “ , she glared at Havin , then continued to press down her chest , “ Every breath I take is burning me Havin , How shall I calm ? “
They were both shocked when the door opened suddenly , It was Bedrihan , after looking at his sister , he said coldly “ father is waiting for you “ , it was obvious that Bedrihan doesn’t like this marriage idea too , there was just one year gap between them, and although Reyyan is the eldest , but Bedrihan was always taking that role , “ we are coming now,” Havin without saying anything to Bedrihan got out of the room “ here , let’s go down “ . With Every step Reyyan takes , she feels like her heart would stop , when she entered the room she took a deep breath and looked down at the floor . There were her father’s and uncle’s voices but there was also a deep voice when Reyyan heard it she felt weird , she looked up and her eyes met miran’s , her heart was snatched out of her chest , their eyes didn’t meet for a long period but the deep blue eyes of that man made Reyyan shiver , it was a dangerous irresistible feeling , she looked away quickly and back to staring at the floor , that feeling was very bad , she was afraid he would notice her confused feelings . She looked up when she felt her mother hands on her arm , she was pointing at Miran’s mother . She was obligated to walk toward the woman , her hands and face were red as fire , she was blushing fiercely , Just thinking that Miran could be looking at her now , she wished the floor would break and take her. In an attempt to regain her calm , she said with a shy voice “ welcome “ , “ My beautiful girl “ said Nergis Hanim then she looked at a woman in her early twenties , Gonul , Miran’s sister , after welcoming her , Reyyan got out quickly and went to the kitchen and threw herself on the first chair she found .Fatma Hanim and Dilan were there too , Fatma has been in this Mansion for years , she becomes as part of this family , Dilan is her daughter . Directly after Reyyan , Havin came and looked at Reyyan , she doesn’t want to miss anything . Reyyan wasn’t able to get out of those blue eyes magic , she couldn’t understand what she is feeling but she was sure those weren’t negative feelings and at the same time , they weren’t just welcoming feeling , Miran has a bewitching charm and Reyyan has started to be charmed more an more , “ what is this ? “ asked Havin laughing , immediately, Dilan stood beside Reyyan waiting for her answer , Reyyan was still trying to calm her heart , it was beating crazily , “ I don’t know, “ she said calmly , “ What don’t you know ? haven’t you seen how miran is looking at you , his eyes were smiling “ , “ I didn’t see Havin “ , Havin looked unconvinced “ don’t lie Reyyan , You looked at him directly after you entered and he as well “ Havin doesn’t miss anything , “ even though , I still don’t know him “ Reyyan said with a small smile . Dilan put the coffee tray on the table “ here take it before it gets cold,” while Reyyan was leaving the kitchen , Havin whispered “ don’t leave immediately , stay a little “ she was shaking as well the tray in her hands , she took a deep breath and entered the hall , she presented the coffee to her uncle , the eldest , first then the others , Miran was the last one , she extended the coffee to
him without looking up , then she set down , she wanted to look at him many times but her shy nature didn’t allow her to . listening to their talk , she noticed her mother’s words were right , her father knows Miran really well , her eyes were still at the floor but Miran’s voice was reaching her ears , It doesn’t sound strange now , It started to ignite excitement in her, she really likes his voice even though she didn’t want to .On one side , Her mother and her uncle’s wife Delal Hanim were sitting together and Nergis Hanim and Gonul were sitting on the solo chairs . On the other side , her father , uncle and Miran were sitting . Azat and Bedrihan were sitting with nasty faces beside the door . When she became a little brave , she looked at Gonul ,Gonul was different from Miran , you couldn’t say she looks like him at all , white skin with Hazel eyes and a long face , she is a beautiful woman . When she moved her eyes from Gonul toward Miran , Her heartbeat started to increase again just like a bird wings , although he has rough features , but with his black hair and eyebrows just like the sky at night , small nose , Burgundy full lips , he looks young . Still , his blue eyes that looks like the ocean , his most attractive feature . His body and physique were compatible with his age .
Reyyan was deep in checking out Miran , she forgot that anyone could notice her , If Havin saw her tease her mercilessly for days . When her eyes clashed with Miran again , his gaze was like fire , Maybe she should leave now , she looked at her mother Zehra and left the hall calmly , Reyyan was in need of deep silence , she needs to think about all those feelings she was experiencing .
No matter what has happened , she was going to refuse .
But why she was feeling like she was going to lose something valuable if she said No . It was weird , Reyyan , who was refusing for days and this morning was nowhere , all the hopelessness and poison were getting out of her body . She is stuck in a sea of uncertainty , all those feelings , she experienced when she saw Miran , were new , she has never been in love , or loved before , she was afraid .
It was like in Miran’s eyes ,there are secrets that nobody knows them .
And no one would be able to .
Until Next Time ,
Be kind and stay strong .