“The decision to serve a mission will shape the spiritual destiny of the missionary, his or her spouse, and their posterity for generations to come. A desire to serve is a natural outcome of one’s conversion, worthiness, and preparation. ” Russell M.Nelson
Sunday The 9th of June 2019
I always ask myself one question , Is It Worth it ? , fighting everyday , trying to convince yourself that you can get up and pick up the pieces of your soul from yesterday , the day before , forget that! , the whole years before . Is your dreams worth every tear you have shed each second ? . Is it worth erasing every bad memory and starting from the scratch every day .
I try not to define people according to anything , human is human , no matter what is their gender , religion , sexuality , nationality , color or beliefs . But Life experiences ,in my opinion , define you , there is a big different between a child who lived through wars and one who lived in a peaceful environment , I don’t talk about discriminating between humans , I’m talking here about humanity , what you should feel and how you are going to deal with the child who went through hell during the war is different from the other children , and that’s what I call ” Good Discrimination ” , having the ability to be human , thoughtful and kind towards others who have been going through difficult battles , not just wars , mental illness , abuse ( physical or mental ) , diseases …..etc. What I was thinking about today is that , every one has their own battle , so we should be as kind as we can to everyone and try to pay attention to other humans and what they are going through .
And I feel like Having Depression has been defining me for 5 years as well as limiting my abilities , a lot of difficulties I have to face that other of my peers don’t have to , starting from convincing myself daily that I am worth this fight , my dreams are worth every second of exhaustion and sadness , then trying to ignore every look and every whisper I hear behind my back because people can be cruel and if you try to change anything of their beliefs or “rules” , you are weird and crazy , but that’s life dear friends and we have to deal with it .
Tomorrow is going to be my first day of summer ” semester ” courses of this year , I’m taking three subjects 1. Clinical psychology 2. clinical decisions 3. Clinical introductory course . I’m Excited to take those courses as I’m really passionate about psychology , I love everything related to the mind and brain of humans . In addition to all that , I’m making this a new beginning for me , forgetting everything and starting from zero , because my psychiatrist has told me that I’ve taken a huge step towards recovery from depression , I can feel a lot of changes inside me so yeah I’m going to try to start again , and seriously , giving up isn’t in my blood , I can keep going and restarting forever .
While you are reading this , I’m preparing myself for next week , putting schedules , for school , blog and Instagram , preparing my outfits , meals and pre reading as much as I can before tomorrow’s lectures .
And through those dairies , I’m going to share my daily experiences with you , because if my mistakes and trials helped just one person , I’m happy .
Sometimes, it is necessary to start from the scratch, To reset the life . Sometimes, it is necessary to love from the scratch, To forget about everything.
With love ,